Loosing someone you love is never easy. I wouldn't wish the loss of a loved one on my worst enemy, but the sad and unfortunate reality is that death is part of life...children loose parents, grandchildren loose grandparents, parents loose children, siblings loose siblings, friends loose friends, and no matter how many times you've been through the heartache of loss, it never becomes something easily dealt with.
To one of my most dearest friends: My heart aches at the pain you're feeling. Nothing I or anyone else can say or do will make the pain and sadness go away, but you're strong, and you will persevere. I have never had the opportunity to meet your Nan, but from the stories you tell, and those members of your family that I've met, I can tell she is a wonderful woman, and raised a beautiful, kind family. Your family is her legacy, and one I can imagine she is proud of.
Eight years ago I lost my Grandmother, my Grams, and the pain, though no longer as prominant or consuming, never really leaves. Your Nan will live forever in your memories, and those of your aunts, uncles, cousins, your children and theirs. Although your girls are young, and your youngest will likely not have lasting memories, your oldest probably will, and she'll hold onto the memories she made at the cottage forever. Memories that would never have been possible without your Nan.
My Grams has been consuming my thoughts lately, either she's haunting me, which she would totally do, or all these thoughts about what you're going through has been reminding me of what my family went through with my grandmother. So in the spirit of remembering, and not letting memories be forgotten, here are some of my favorite Grandma memories:
She had a pole at the end of her driveway and would, without fail, yell as you're pulling away "mind the pole", even to my Mom, who had lived there her whole life. My siblings and I teased her mercilessly about it.
"Did you eat?" "Did your friend eat?" "Did you ask your friend if they were hungry?" "Did you see the donuts on the counter?" - My Grandma would and could feed a small army on any given day. Although her other favorite quote was in answer to the question "What's for dinner?", her response being (every time) "dry bread and pull it."
If you pissed her off, or miss behaved: "I'm going to string you up by your toenails and whip you with a wet noodle"
In reference to the make up I started wearing MUCH too early, and MUCH too much of "clean off that war paint"
Her nickname for my little brother, because he had a speech impediment that made him sound like he had an accent "...you little Dutchman". Sounds meaner in theory than it was in practice. She didn't have a mean bone in her body.
When bringing food from the kitchen into the dining room she would yell "coming around the corner!", so that no one would bump into her.
"pull up those pants, I can see your knickers" - self explanatory
And maybe one of the funniest things about her: the 10 pm. phone calls my mom had to make each night to wake her up in time to watch Cops and Jerry Springer.
This past February I got a tattoo in memory of my Grandparents that I have lost:
3 Lily's - each in different stages of blossom to represent the three generations, Lily's because they are both my Grandmas and my favorite flower, and the words I'll Love You Forever, because I will, and because my parents read that story and said that line a millions times to us when we were kids.
3 years ago