Friday, June 11, 2010

I have Jame's Brown's "sexmachine" lyrics in my head...they have nothing to do with this

My spectacles, my sight enhancers, my visual aids, my glaaaaaaasses: I need them to see, I can not function without them.

I can't get out of bed if I don't have them, and if they are not specifically where I left them when I fell asleep I will not move until someone finds them for's a hazard! Nothing has edges or distinct lines, I can't tell where one thing ends and another things starts.

Have you ever tried to go cliff jumping as a glasses wearer...sans glasses? Trust me...its terrifying. You can't tell where the edge of the cliff is so you have (or at least I have) an overwhelming fear that I won't jump at the right spot so I'll slip off the edge and tumble to my death. Yes...Terrifying.

How about being  in the middle of a mosh pit when someone knocks your glasses off your face. So you're options are facing almost certain death by kneeling down and patting around for them, or facing certain death by driving home without being able to see. Luckily when it happened to me I had the assistance of a wonderful friend, and some wonderful strangers who held people back while someone else bent down and picked them up for me. They are insanely scratched (meaning I have more than one blurry spot in my line of sight) but I am incredibly grateful for their help. Otherwise...CERTAIN DEATH!!

I can't comfortably watch tv and cuddle with the BF because my glasses dig into my face.
I can't see when I go swimming, so I just float around with my eyes closed.
I hate going to salons to get my hair done because I can't see who is talking to me - and you would be surprised how hard it is to have a conversation without reading facial expressions.
I'm notorious for saying "wait I can't hear you, I don't have my glasses on."
I can't successfully shave my legs in the shower.
I have to do my makeup within inches of the mirror, literally inches, so close that if I put on mascara with too much gusto it ends up all over the mirror, ya...awesome.

(Is it ironic that this post is about glasses helping me see, and I have my eyes closed in this picture? Also, my eyebrows looking so anomaly)'s the dilemma. I like them. I'm used to them. They're like an old friend. I like what I look like with glasses on, and I guess sometimes I feel like I can hide behind them. BUT it would be INCREDIBLY convenient to be able to see without them. SO, do I get laser eye surgery and have perscriptionless glasses to wear around when I feel the need to glasses up my look? Because honestly, that's what I'm thinking is necessary.

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