Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Rage...of the Road Variety

Road Rage, not to be confused with Roid Rage, is a disease. A serious, life altering, crippling disease...or disorder, I think it's probably more like a disorder. Either way, it has bad news written all over it.

I would estimate - or totally make up, whichever, that over 1/3 of the world's population suffers from this disorder (we can disclude incredibly rural areas, or places with no traffic or vehicles, which leaves places like China - which gives me road rage just thinking about it, or other heavily populated areas making up for most of this *completely fabricated* statistic).

Symptoms include: Dizziness, Dryness of mouth, Nausea, and the Overwhelming urge to rear end someone, Drive on the shoulder, Punch your steering wheel, or Scream obscenities.

"They" are currently searching for a cure for this debilitating disorder.

If you would like to donate to the HRRS (Helicopters for Road Rage Survivors) foundation, we (meaning I) are currently collecting funds to hire a personal pilot, buy a helicopter, and build a helipad on the top of my office building, so to avoid the daily frustration and the ridicules anger that consumes me each morning.

Thank you for your time and understanding. Only YOU have the power to stop the madness.


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