I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always

Loosing someone you love is never easy. I wouldn't wish the loss of a loved one on my worst enemy, but the sad and unfortunate reality is that death is part of life...children loose parents, grandchildren loose grandparents, parents loose children, siblings loose siblings, friends loose friends, and no matter how many times you've been through the heartache of loss, it never becomes something easily dealt with.

To one of my most dearest friends: My heart aches at the pain you're feeling. Nothing I or anyone else can say or do will make the pain and sadness go away, but you're strong, and you will persevere. I have never had the opportunity to meet your Nan, but from the stories you tell, and those members of your family that I've met, I can tell she is a wonderful woman, and raised a beautiful, kind family. Your family is her legacy, and one I can imagine she is proud of.

Eight years ago I lost my Grandmother, my Grams, and the pain, though no longer as prominant or consuming, never really leaves. Your Nan will live forever in your memories, and those of your aunts, uncles, cousins, your children and theirs. Although your girls are young, and your youngest will likely not have lasting memories, your oldest probably will, and she'll hold onto the memories she made at the cottage forever. Memories that would never have been possible without your Nan.

My Grams has been consuming my thoughts lately, either she's haunting me, which she would totally do, or all these thoughts about what you're going through has been reminding me of what my family went through with my grandmother. So in the spirit of remembering, and not letting memories be forgotten, here are some of my favorite Grandma memories:

She had a pole at the end of her driveway and would, without fail, yell as you're pulling away "mind the pole", even to my Mom, who had lived there her whole life. My siblings and I teased her mercilessly about it.

"Did you eat?" "Did your friend eat?" "Did you ask your friend if they were hungry?" "Did you see the donuts on the counter?" - My Grandma would and could feed a small army on any given day. Although her other favorite quote was in answer to the question "What's for dinner?", her response being (every time) "dry bread and pull it."

If you pissed her off, or miss behaved: "I'm going to string you up by your toenails and whip you with a wet noodle"

In reference to the make up I started wearing MUCH too early, and MUCH too much of "clean off that war paint"

Her nickname for my little brother, because he had a speech impediment that made him sound like he had an accent "...you little Dutchman". Sounds meaner in theory than it was in practice. She didn't have a mean bone in her body.

When bringing food from the kitchen into the dining room she would yell "coming around the corner!", so that no one would bump into her.

"pull up those pants, I can see your knickers" - self explanatory

And maybe one of the funniest things about her: the 10 pm. phone calls my mom had to make each night to wake her up in time to watch Cops and Jerry Springer.

This past February I got a tattoo in memory of my Grandparents that I have lost:

3 Lily's - each in different stages of blossom to represent the three generations, Lily's because they are both my Grandmas and my favorite flower, and the words I'll Love You Forever, because I will, and because my parents read that story and said that line a millions times to us when we were kids.

Kumbaya...

Someone was killed...murdered...beaten to death, less than 200 feet from me while I was sleeping. oh.my.god.

We went camping this past weekend (a long holiday weekend in Canada) with a bunch of friends. The place we went has a reputation for out of control partying. The BF has gone sans me the last 2 years because he had heard the rumors and was worried about my safety. Nothing happened those two years, he came home telling me that it was just like any other camping trip, albeit a little crazier, with lots of dirt bikes, quads and field cars, but as long as I didn't do anything stupid "like stand in the middle of the street with cars coming" than I should be fine, so this year we decided to go together.

He watched me like a hawk, a hawk that I didn't see and had no idea was watching me...so maybe a more accurate description would be: he watched me like a crazed stalker hiding in the bushes. At one point my girlfriend and I got in the back of a pick up truck that was going to go through the mud pits and out of no where I hear the BF's booming voice "Why the hell would you get in the back of a pick up without a tail gate?" yelling at us from atop a pile of rocks across the field. The guy in the front of the truck that we didn't know turned around saying, "so that must be one of your boyfriends". Ahem, yup. What can I say, he loves me...or doesn't want to explain to my parents why I'm broken when we return. Either way.

Anyhow, the rumors of this place seemed extremely embelished, it really was like any other camping trip except for the field cars etc. which honestly, made the days less boring. So I was all prepared to come home to all of the skeptics and those who thought I was crazy for going, and show them I am still in one piece and there is no need to be concerned or worry. That is until someone got beaten to death. Seriously, to death, at the campsite next to us.

The BF and I were sleeping at the time so we didn't hear anything happen. I woke up at about 4 or 5 in the morning because the BFs a jerk and stole my blanket so I went to my car to get another one. I came out of the trailer to see an ambulance, a girl crying, and another guy freaking out. I grabbed my blanket and when I was going back to the trailer I stopped to talk to a couple of my friends that were still awake and told them to go check out what's going on, because I'm terribly nosey, but wanted to go back to sleep.

We found out a couple hours later that the guy had died from internal injuries and there were police EVERYWHERE. I've never seen a real crime scene before, it was crazy. The whole end of the street we were on was police taped off, there were cops and investigators everywhere and no one was allowed to leave or enter the campground. We were on lock down. I was on lock down. Because of a murder. I couldn't comprehend it. I still can't. This guy, who was in his mid-twenties, is dead. He went away for the weekend with his friends, and his family will never see him again. So insanely tragic. My friend Ryan saw it happen. He said it started and ended so quickly there wasn't really anytime to react. I'm still in shock, and feel terrible for the poor guys family and friends. The four guys that beat him were all found and arrested. We're not sure what the motive was, but I can't think of any reason for four guys to beat one guy until he dies. Ridicules.