Sex Bomb, Sex Bomb!

FYI - This post is about "sex life" more specifically, my sex life...(that warning is for you Mom)

I think sex is healthy. I'd say most people would agree with me. Aside from the physical benefits of having a work out, the stress relief, and other necessary reliefs, it builds confidence, it strengthens relationships, it helps keep couples close, both physically and mentally, and is the distinguishing factor between, being a "couple" and being "roommates" as far as I'm concerned.

So yes, the BF does not worry that I'll ever "have a headache" or "not feel well" or "am too tired". We're pretty much on par as far as desire goes, and it's something I'm proud of, so I can't understand this perpetuated stereotype that women only "give it up" on holidays, and birthdays.

Anyhow...all this considered, and after 4 years of no excuses...no stereotypical, male gives female back rub hoping it'll lead to sex...it happened.

Two nights ago I was feeling sooo sick. I fell asleep at 7pm on the couch, and woke up at 9pm,  forced myself to get up and go lay down in bed. The BF got me a "puke bucket" and laid down behind me, rubbing my back. And then...he tried to progress that back rub...seriously! Come on! I've never had to say "no, I'm too sick", until that day. I'm kinda ticked off that he made me say it...I was proud that I'd never had to before. So, UGH! Now I'm one of those women whose "too sick" for sex. Lame!

This Emotional Life

I'm a "social psychologist" by nature, in that, I am extremely interested and fascinated with social psychology. In university it's what I majored in, and since I do not work in that field I tend to forget how much I truly love it. That, and the fact that with my depression I have a hard time identifying hobbies, or things that I really enjoy.

Anyhow, the BF recently got "Netflix" and has fallen in love. I'm now lower on the totum pole then a program he pays monthly for, to watch movies, he won't have time to watch, that I'll likely have to wrestle him into watching. This weekend ALL he talked about was netflix to anyone who would listen.

It did benefit me however, because he found this great 3 part series called This Emotional Life. It's a "three-part series that explores improving our social relationships, learning to cope with depression and anxiety, and becoming more positive, resilient individuals." The BF started watching it while I was at work the other day (he's laid off again...) and knew that I would be really interested in it. So he saved it, and waited for me so we could watch it. I spent hours on Sunday watching it, and felt at home. THIS is what I love learning about, THIS is was I'm passionate about, THIS is the field I need to be working in. I know I would love teaching, but I would LOVE if I could become a behavioral specialist, or work in research. I'm successful in my job, but it's not my passion. I don't feel fulfilled doing it. But after 3 years of not having any sociology or psychology based learning, or information gathering, I had forgotten how passionate I am about it.

Now to make something happen...but what? How do I make this work for me?

Also, HUG someone today...preferably someone who will not lodge a sexual assault charge against you, or respond unpleasantly to your touch...because human touch, it's one of the most important things in a balanced human life.

It's all Lady and the Tramp up in this bitch!!

Pictures of "my" animals...its in quotations because they don't "technically" belong to me...however I love them all the same!! We'll call them my roomates!

"No More Teacher's, Dirty Looks"

I'm facing a dilema, one I'm confidant many others before me have also faced: Can I afford to go back to school?

Yes, I realise it's my own fault for dicking around and not completing all of my courses when I was actually enrolled in University and did not have to hold down a job.

Yes, I realise that had I made better decisions when I was 18 I would have gone to school somewhere else, attended a different program, and likely be in a much happier and successful place in my life. Too bad I can't call a mulligan on that one.

Yes, I realise that with only 2.5 credits left of my undergrad, I really need to do anything in my power to finish my education, and not spend the rest of my life paying off a debt incurred for nothing.

Also, I realise that I shouldn't say "but"...BUT now that I'm currently working fill time, I have bills to pay. I don't live at home, I'm not under Mom and Dad's wing anymore, and although they help me out TREMENDOUSLY I can't ask them to fill my bank account like they did when I was 18 and living away from home for the first time. So it's up to me. For the first time ever, it's up to me to figure it out and make it on my own.

If I quit my job I won't get any severance pay or be eligible for employment insurance, so there goes any form of income. I could try and keep my job and do courses at night, however the courses I'm required to take are not offered at night, so that limits that ability. I'm not eligible for OSAP because "I make too much money"...HA, come again!? (that's what she said!) And I'm not eligible for the "Second Careers" program because I'm not laid off. Meaning any government assistance is out of the question.

So my only option is to find a part time job, to work and attend school. Sounds simple enough, except I want the guarantee of a job before I quit, and all the jobs I've apply to have not returned even the invitation of an interview...so that's kinda throwing a wrench in the plan.

So here I am, 3 years after taking my last University course, and trying to figure out what the fuck to do with myself, and my future.

Oh ya, and this morning I read an article on how students with part-time jobs have a hard time completing their course work. Well FUCK! I had a hard time completing my course work while not working and sitting at home in front of my computer. Second time's the charm? Let's hope so.

Oh, and a small rant to the Canadian Government - Had you not spent 1.1 Billion dollars on the G20/G8 summits, you could afford to better assist all of your residents with their schooling. Like...I don't know... paying for it!?!! Do you know what the crime rate is in places where schooling is free? Do you know the long term benefits of having a well educated population? ...And while we're at it, what are the long term...or even short term benefits of spending a BILLION dollars on 2 summits, that caused nothing be grief to the people of Toronto and the surrounding areas? hmm...

Go BENGALS!!

This football season I decided I wanted to have a rivalry with the BF. He's a Raiders fan, and all sporting events are more WAY more fun if you're cheering for a team, but especially if that team is in the same division as your significant others favorite team. That is unless we're talking about hockey, because if I were to become an Ottawa Senators fan, it would be the end of our relationship. I know this because he's told me...more than once. GO LEAFS GO!

So aside from my "Pffff...Miami Fan!" comments when I see people in jersey, I decided I wanted to get a shirt to support my newly adopted favorite team, and since I JUST saw a commercial for football t-shirts at old navy, I decided to hit it up. Well, much to my dismay, there were no Bengals shirts, OR Raiders shirts for that matter...Me= Unimpressed! What? Is my team not good enough to be supported my Old Navy!?? Now how the hell am I going to rub my overwhelming LOVE and support for the Bengals in BF's face?! Old Navy, you've just created for yourself a VERY powerful enemy! You ruined a good thing!

But, on the bright side, at least they didn't have Raiders shirts either...Ha!